Beckett Mariner

What am I--fine, fine, I'll do it, stop jumping on me!

This is Anakin Skywalker. Miss Lydia Bennett is indisposed this morning and so I am here to report on a party I didn't even go to.

*chittering*

No, that's not actually "very helpful" of you. Let's get through classes first, though, shall we? Dr. Blake took the First Aid students through a simulated mass casualty event and Galactic Travel class went to Alderaan.

*awkward pause*

I'm sure they enjoyed that.

*chittering*

No, it's lovely! I just haven't been there in a very long time.

In non-party town news, Rey and I were chasing a porg around her warehouse in a very dignified way and Watts took a break from work at the station for pasta salad with Steven.

*excited porg sounds* And Henry was in a common room.

*sound of massive pile of papers falling over*

Sithspit. There go the party notes. For those of you that aren't aware, Liliana and Ignis threw a garden party in celebration of their engagement and approximately half the island showed up, so strap yourselves in for five minutes of me trying to make small talk sound fascinating.

*chittering*

I do not find small talk fascinating. It's part of why I didn't go to the party. The other part was Christopher's baseball game. Liliana praised Gladio for wearing a shirt to the party and Ignis told Gladio about a box he could use to stuff Prompto into. That's more fun that small talk and I was never allowed to stuff boring Senators into boxes, which would've livened up receptions considerably. Prompto and only-youngling-at-the-party Noctra congratulated Liliana on her engagement and Ignis caught her--Noctra, not Liliana--before she could inflict plant-based injury on herself. Liliana gave Summer the heads-up that Rey wanted to go shopping, and Summer told both members of the happy couple how glad she was not to have to keep the engagement ring a secret any longer. Speaking of Rey, she was there to compliment Summer's dress, and so was Stark.

Liliana asked Arden how she chose the music at the end of her broadcasts, and Arden complimented Ignis on the air at the party, which is definitely a compliment I've never heard before. Lydia told Arden about her sister Mary's wedding, Liliana told Stark she didn't think the administration would let her teach hands-on necromancy and this is absolutely correct, don't do that, Ignis insincerely welcomed Stark and that made him wonder if he should stay to Rey.

Eleanor was praised for her participation in the ethics class and congratulated Ignis, Arden came over to cringe about how she'd complimented the air, and Lydia told Eleanor that today is her birthday and now I see why she's not here. Rey's dress met with Liliana's approval, and Rey complimented Ignis on how nice everything looked, a mistake she realized three seconds after saying it. Luma chose small talk with Liliana and Ignis and Lydia. Liliana gave Lydia birthday diamonds--

*chittering*

--something I'm being assured is not normally a thing, and was also greeted by Ignis and Rey, who complimented Lydia on her ability to blend in at a party. Liliana was pleased to see Don in attendance--so was Ignis, and then flirted with Tony before they worked on planning the party after next week's party. Ignis made sure to check that Tony would be dancing so he could see Liliana and Ignis' new chandelier. Steve and Tony also flirted before Steve made an unseemly dent in the appetizers, and Jack complained about sex pollen week to Liliana before introducing himself to Ignis.

*chittering*

No, that wasn't really a smooth transition, I agree. Deal with it. Stewart didn't understand garden parties but showed up anyway, Steven and Watts were thrilled by vegan food--someone has to be, I suppose--and then Steven tried to explain why he and Watts aren't married to Liliana before saying hi to Ignis and telling Stark about his upcoming trip to Greece. He also told Nell about it. Watts got a history lesson about Liliana's last name before saying hello to Ignis and Stark. Adrian was greeted by Luma and Lydia, Liliana, Ignis, and Rey. Popular guy.

Liz and Prompto talked about getting Noctra to nap, but Liz also complimented the party to Liliana and Ignis. Liliana praised Steve for letting Tony throw him a birthday party, and Steven apologized for missing the upcoming party because he's going to Greece. Liliana wanted Flint to open the bookstore more often, Lana brought congratulatory wine, Hannibal decided that an engagement party was a good time to tell Liliana about his cursed weddings, and Jon's presence reminded Liliana that she should re-teach her self-indulgence class. And Nell's dress matched Gladio's outfit.

And that's finally everything!

*chittering*

What.

*chittering*

And then people danced under the fancy chandelier. There. Now I'm finished.

*chittering*

No, I will not add more "pizzazz." Enjoy the weekend celebrations, everyone.

Good morning, it's Anakin Skywalker, here to speak accurately of the glories of yesterday's teambuilding.

*porg noises*

And to reinforce that porgs are not for throwing, even if they get into a bucket on a raft? Porgs should be more careful.

*sulky porg noises*

We met at the pond yesterday where four teams of four had to pass an object from one raft to another without falling off and while wearing attractive thematic shirts. Vi and Steph made a side bet about which team would do better. Then everyone participated, throwing balls, shoes, rubber chickens, and Beaker. But not the porg, so thank you, Quinn. Congratulations to Cowboy Raccoons--

*chittering*

--and the squirrels say the raccoons are prepared to make you very fair offers for those shirts if you are looking to part with them.

Arden had her own personal raincloud in the library, but it didn't get any of the books soggy.

In town, Quinn was checking to see if the dog toy she'd picked up at Shenanigans was cursed--probably not--Adrian was definitely being cursed with the constant repetition of 'It's a Small World'--

*'It's a Small World' being played for ten minutes*

No one asked for that, Intern Porg. No one.

Finally, at Caritas, the night included karaoke, one of which was just screaming, which might be better than 'It's a Small World', but probably not.

*chittering*

Taylor Swift is definitely better than both of the other options. Liliana stopped by to wish Summer an early happy birthday and to invite her to something called RageFest, Jack brought Summer 'space booze', which is a very broad category, Stewart brought her a non-space booze gift, I am assuming, and Stark voluntarily drank a pickle shot.

And that's everything. I'll see most of you in ethics class.